Saturday, August 20, 2005

Google Fun!

As I've previously mentioned, the only reason I started this website was so it could act as a kind of moral-support-blog for Ed's Secret Diary of Interactions, the weblog of my good friend Ed.

Perhaps inevitably, it quickly turned into a blogging competition, who could get more comments, who could get more visitors, but mostly who would stick at it longest. And as you can see, since his last post was on July 26th, I think we can all agree that this is a rare occasion where I have won one of our little contests.

So Ed, without appearing smug, todays dinner is a microwaved can of whoop-ass served with mashed potato and gravy. - I know you love my mash.

I should be allowed to rub this one in because I don't usually win this stuff, it just so happens that I really love waffling on about inane crap.

Take this game he introduced me to a few months ago, the Google Image Search game. It's wonderful, it's the new chess, only it's more about the pawn.
In the Google Image Search game you must go to, yes you guessed it, Google and select the image search (if you couldn't work that bit out, you're not likely to turn out to be a world champion Google Image Search player, try Junior Trivial Pursuit), now, the next part is very important, you must go to 'Advanced Image Search' and change the 'SafeSearch' option to 'No Filtering'.
Once this is done, the game can begin.

The objective of the game is to enter the most seemingly innocent searchword and still return pornographic pictures high on the search results, preferably on the first page.
It's important that the word has absolutely NO CONCEIVABLE LINKS TO PORN. Otherwise you lose.
For example, the word 'Shoes' (although it doesn't return any dirty pics - damn!) is a good word because you wouldn't expect it to have anything to do with porn, however the word 'Nun' is not a good word, because although it technically has nothing to do with porn, it's bound to bring up million and one pictures of busty plastic blondies in habits. And it does.
And using words like slut, cleavage, Paris or Hilton will have you disqualified for wasting time and Google bandwidth.

I have never been able to get anywhere with this game, and he came up with a load of better ones than me before I even started, so I resided with the fact that I'd lost.
But that is until last Thursday when looking for an image to brighten up my post ranting about charity twats...

I am so impressed with it, Ladies and Gentlemen, I challenge you all to beat it. The word is:

'Clipboard' - see image result number three.

I'm not entirely sure what the picture's relevance is, but it matters not...

The gaunlet is down, lets see what you've got, readers...

14 Comments:

At 10:37 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meh, this is difficult. The worst i can manage is an ugly man grabbing his genitals when i type in "Yetti". And apparently that's spelt wrong.

Did you mean: Yeti

 
At 12:55 am, Anonymous Adriana said...

I do not have patience for game. I use the Internet to read, to interact with the people and only to study. But it seems interesting...I left 2 comments for you in orkut. Did you see?

 
At 9:05 am, Blogger Helzepops said...

I can see a fourfold increase in spam offering viagra and penis extensions coming my way !!

 
At 10:07 am, Blogger Mr. Andrew said...

don't worry, it's worth it.

 
At 7:48 pm, Blogger The Humanity Critic said...

Just passing through, I'm liking the blog by the way.

 
At 3:57 am, Blogger Babs said...

Goodness. Whatever happened to playing Parcheesi?!?!

 
At 8:34 pm, Blogger Helzepops said...

mmmmm, try Duck, Pepper and Green. Not wild but nothing to do with Ducks, Peppers or Green.

 
At 12:46 am, Blogger Mr. Andrew said...

Haha, genius. I think duck takes the prize, I wish I had a prize to give you... but as previously mentioned in this blog, I'm a tight miserable bastard.

Well done though, your friends and relatives must be very proud.

 
At 10:08 am, Blogger Babs said...

'Trafalgar' brings up 2 possibles on the first page. And I've NO idea why I decided to pick that word, either.

 
At 12:27 pm, Anonymous Kirsty said...

"lawnmower" surely has no sexual connotations but brings up a couple of surprise images on the first page!

 
At 7:31 pm, Blogger Helzepops said...

Try "Bovine" - prize still mine - can my folks come to the award ceremony ??

 
At 9:33 pm, Blogger Mr. Andrew said...

'Bovine' wins the 'Most Disturbing' special award.

Whether or not 'Lawnmower' has sexual connotations is debatable I think.

 
At 11:48 pm, Blogger Just Jane said...

I thought 'My Little Pony' would yield results, but all I got was 20+ pages of pics of assorted My Little Ponys. Life is full of disappointments.

 
At 6:43 am, Blogger Universal Soldier said...

My my - there are some sick pupppies out there. I haven't played this game before but might introduce it at work. With the big bad IT boffins monitoring our internet usage it would like an online version of chicken. By the way if you like Google Games then:

http://douweosinga.com/projects/googlehacks

is very good. I'm particularly fond of 'Poetry In Translation'.

 

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