Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Frank's mate Nige.

Here's something I thought was a little odd, but completely true, and not in a chain-email-you'll-die-in-a-messy-way-if-you-don't-send-this-to-twenty-people sort of way either. Real life.

A few nights ago I went to the local wine shop to buy, well, some wine. I was browsing their selection looking as always, for something Red and cheap that doesn't look cheap, which in this particular wine shop is an absolute nightmare since they don't go in for the modern trend in alcohol dispensaries to put their stock in some sort of logical order.
Not alphabetised, not sorted into regions, not even red and white. It's just laziness.

The guy behind the counter (we'll call him Frank) was chatting to another guy leaning on the counter (we'll call him Nige), they seemed to be friends and judging by their age, rebelious dress sense (well, black hoodies), the area we were in and Frank's crappy job, I'd guess that they were students.

Two student buddies having a nice leisurely chat, Nige perhaps popped in to see how Frank was doing, having to work on a Saturday night and all, thought it might break up the shift a bit, I got no beef with that, even if I did find their choice of clothing offensive.

As I pulled out red bottle after red bottle from the rack by the counter, all the time trying to look like I was putting them back not because of the price, but because of the grape or region or something, they natter away about albums by bands with names that would suggest they might shout a lot. They break their chatter as Frank serves an elderly Glenfiddich drinker, then once he has gone Nige says to Frank:

"So I was playing Table Tennis with Nick the other day...", Frank nods and adjusts the Pringles tubs stacked on the counter, perfectionist that he clearly is, "...we had a rally going and I went to hit the ping-pong back to him and when I did, I got transported to this other dimension.", said without a hint of jest, "I was in these woods and it was really cold and I could see my breath, and there was all this mist on the ground, it was morning time I think... anyway, all of a sudden Nick's hitting the ball back to me and I just carried on playing. It was weird.",
I halted my search for a moment to see how a person might reply to such a statement; Frank pauses mid-pringle-tub-alignment and frowns at Nige, who is perfectly serious, straight-faced and doesn't appear to be intoxicated to any degree,
"Huh." he says, and goes back to working on his snack display.
"Yeah." said Nige.

Now, there are a lot of ways to respond to a person recounting events like those of Nige, but I don't think a dismissive "Huh." would be high on that list, I don't care how open-minded you are. It comes some way below screaming and running, and even further below grabbing the bottle of Teachers, smashing it on the counter and holding the jagged glass remains up to his face in self-defence.

Frank may have dismissed the remark with a "Huh." but I wasn't about to, I grabbed the nearest dark-coloured bottle took it to the end of the counter furthest from where Nige was leaning, paid for my goods and made a bee-line for the exit, bottle of wine in one hand and tub of Sour Cream and Onion Pringles in the other, trying to recall one the few Tae Kwon Do lessons I attended ten years ago.

As I left their conversation continued, "Still won though." said Nige,

"Nice." said Frank.

To recap...


It seems Frank and Nige are not easily spooked, it's Nick I feel sorry for.


At 7:45 pm, Blogger Helzepops said...

Nige was clearly talking to Frank - that just the sort of conversation you're supposed to have according to the government.

At 9:56 pm, Blogger Just Jane said...

Humm, (or 'Huh' to quote Frank). I can't help thinking that Nick must be quite exceptionally bad at table tennis. I am pretty bad at table tennis myself, but I do flatter myself that should at any stage of the game, my opponent be transported to another dimension, I could win the game (even if I had to cheat to do so).

At 2:09 pm, Anonymous Adriana said...

I'm thinking Whitch are the few Tae Kwon Do lessons you attended ten years ago...

At 6:31 pm, Anonymous Adriana said...


At 7:27 pm, Blogger Mr. Andrew said...

Just the first few, I almost got a belt, any muggers reading should beware...

At 3:58 am, Blogger SaneScientist said...

I'm slightly more concerned about kids wearing hoodies playing table tennis. Shouldn't they be hanging aroud street corners staring menacingly at passersby? Youth of today - pshaw.

At 8:27 am, Anonymous Adriana said...

Mr Andrew, tell me...what do the people from United Kingdom do when the family traveled and they are lonely at home and begin to listen stranger noises and can't sleep and the "blog-friends" don't write nothing to read? a)Do they cry; b)they call some friend at 4 a.m; c)or wait until the sunshine appears?
obs...I'm not a "muggers", ok? I don't Know what is muggers but I seems to be something wrong. I'm honesty. My orkut is:

I like to read you because I think is so interesting the things you write.

At 3:01 pm, Blogger Mr. Andrew said...

Sorry blog-friend Adriana, I know I should be posting more frequently, there's a new post up now for your viewing pleasure.

You misunderstand me, a 'mugger' is somebody who robs you in the street, I was saying that they should be careful because of my extensive martial arts knowledge. Sarcasm.

I can't view your website on Orkut, as I am not a member.

I am pleased that you enjoy my blog.


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